Friday, July 13, 2012

When God Writes Your Story

I wish I could tell you how many hours I’ve spent staring at this computer screen or out the window lately but I’ve lost count. Let’s just say it’s been many. Way too many. And actually, for the record, if I did remember, I am quite sure I would not want to tell you. So forget what I just said wrote. Since I can't find the word for my chapters at the moment, I figured I'd switch gears and come over here for a bit...

For as far back as I can remember, whenever the conversation about dream jobs came up, I'd immediately say to be an author one day. (Thinking that 'one day' was decades away). Of course, in my mind, I imagined sitting in my beautiful home office on a cozy couch holding a large mug of the best coffee ever and gazing out of a grand picture window that overlooked a lush, green garden. Or, when needing a changing of scenery, I'd stroll down to my rocking chair on the front porch with a laptop, with a gentle breeze flowing through my hair and the birds chirping (wait, I hate birds...). Okay... back to reality...

The truth of the matter is, I have always loved writing. I wouldn't have blogged all these years unless the love was there. But I've done that at my own leisure. No deadlines, no pressure. Just words flowing freely from my mind to the keyboard. It was therapeutic. I never considered the day-in, day-out discipline of plowing away without inspiration. I had no idea of the magnitude of work, stress, emotions, editing, do-overs, blood, sweat, tears, Skittles, or prayers that it would entail. It's no joke. I've been camped out in a season of writer's block for too long and it's incredibly frustrating. The kind of frustration you get at the end of the semester when your 12-page paper is due in 36 hours but nothing is coming together. {If only it were just a matter of APA citations and formatting... *big sigh*}... But seriously though... you know what? As frazzled as I am, deep down I am even more excited. Why? Because God has opened a door for me to do what I love for Him. An incredibly blessing. And since He opened the door, He will provide the words that He wants me to share.

Speaking of provision, I need to testify. Like, big time get-your-praise-dance-on-and-wave-your-hanky testify. And I'm so glad that my writer's block has allowed me this window to tell you about God's faithfulness. Last week I shared with you how, after my computer spazzed out, a dear friend offered to lend me her laptop (which is what I'm writing on now) so I could finish my book proposal and chapters. A huge answer to prayer (and confirmation that I must stay the course) and a huge blessing. Well, yesterday I received a call from another dear friend who called to tell me she was giving me a Macbook. She arranged a computer switch with another special friend and they made this happen just for me. I'm floored. Like. FLOORED.

Friends, do you remember when I'd thank God for my Mac by faith when my dinosaur Dell was cutting off three dozen times a day? HE PROVIDED IT! And what's wild is that I spent a little extra time in prayer yesterday morning asking for His provision. Interestingly enough, I wasn't even thinking about a computer at the time. That was the furthest thing from my mind. But not from God's mind. He knew and His timing is always perfect. He never ceases to amaze me. What's crazy is that I know this is just the beginning. I have a feeling that something big is in store for these next few weeks. No idea what that means but I'm expectant. I'm sure I will have much to share after my trip. By then, I'll be blogging to you from my miraculous Mac!

I am blown away at what the Lord has done over the course of these past few months. A dear friend blessing me with the registration to the Proverbs 31 Ministries' She Speaks Conference. Completely unexpected. Then others blessed me with money so I could pay for my flight. My very good friend lives in the same town as the conference so I get to stay with her and spend time with her. God has used precious friends and family members to provide for my financial needs. My friend lends me her laptop, and now my other friend is giving me a Mac. ONLY JESUS. Though there's been so many other confirmations and cherished moments with the Lord that have not been shared, trust me when I tell you, they are all things that I'm treasuring and pondering. My heart is full.

When God began to show me last fall that I was to take writing off the back burner, I had no idea where He'd be taking me. What a journey it has been (and it's only the beginning!). I may not be an author just yet and I may not be sitting in my fancy dream office (just yet), but I am exactly where God wants me and that makes all the drama worth it. It's amazing ... the joy and peace we experience when we take our hand off the pen of our lives and surrender our story to Jesus. He alone is the Author and Finisher of our faith. Nothing is greater than to be a part of the greatest story ever told. His story. I encourage you, if you're still trying to 'write' your life, give it up. What you think is the end will only be the beginning ... the beginning of something wonderful in Christ...

Well, break's over. Time to go back to my (other) writing. If you think of me, please pray that the words would flow. I desperately need God's words and not my own.

So thankful for all of you!

pressing on toward the goal,


Jessie Clemence said...

I love it! God is so good to us. Enjoy your computer to the fullest.

Diana Denis said...

Isn't is mind blowing? The longer I know Him and think I've got Him figured out the more He shows me I have no idea! His dreams are bigger than ours, His purpose is far greater than our own agenda. I'm still learning to let go. I'm so excited for you and praying for you daily! I know that as you continue to push through that He will continue to show up and amaze you. Can't wait to hear about this newest chapter in your journey!

Dawn Aldrich said...

Jenn, doing the Jesus dance over here! So happy that the Mac is on its way. You must be God's favorite! wink, wink.