Friday, June 15, 2012

Start



I didn't have the opportunity to technically write on the actual Day 7 but with good reason...


Day 7. Start Ugly.

Make something ugly. And leave it ugly (temporarily). Be okay with it. Embrace the splotches and streaks for what they are: evidence that you’ve started.

Then share it with a few people you trust and look for feedback. Find stuff you can improve and slowly move it towards beautiful.


Trust me when I tell you that when it comes to this book (my attempt of writing it), I have most certainly started off ugly. Ugly. As in U-G-L-Y-you-aint-got-no-alibi type ugly. And though I haven't been able to get much on paper that I can say I would be proud to show anyone, at least there is (semi)comfort in knowing that I have begun. Broken, confusing fragments and all. But man, it's ugly.

I kinda wish the word in today's pic said ugly instead of start. That would be an accurate description of yesterday (Day 7). Not because I had some nasty cramps, though that was ugly, but because of the day overall. It wasn't a bad day by any means. It was good in an ugly sort of way, if that makes any sense at all.

You see, I'm currently at the starting line in a few areas of life, not just in regards to writing. I have the great privilege of being a part of an awesome team working with young adults this summer at my church. God is doing something, stirring something, bringing something. We don't know what He's about to do, but there's such expectation among us. More to come on that. (In the mean time, follow us on Twitter and Instagram @weareyoungnyc). I'm also a part of a production team for a project that I blogged about a few weeks ago, From the Back Burner to Broadway. That's another big endeavor at the early beginning stages but with much anticipation of God doing something mighty in the entertainment industry.

Then there's the start of my writing career. Though I've been writing for as long as I can remember, it's only now in the last few months that I've been intentional about it. Years of experience mean nada if I'm not intentional about jumping in the game. It would be like saying I play for the Knicks meanwhile I'm one of the towel guys. Nada. I'm not cool with wiping off the sweat of the other players and calling myself a professional. Maybe before but not anymore. Now I've jumped in the game and joined the pros.
I'm a writer, remember?

I feel so humbled to be a part of such great exploits for Christ. All of these projects are so much bigger than me. It's not about the fame or the recognition. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it's about people's lives and God's glory. And I went to the Lord yesterday with such a desperation in my heart because I can't do any of these things without him. That's where the ugly comes in. But again, it was a good ugly. If you're gonna be real, it's gonna get raw. God can do so much more with a raw heart than a rigid heart.

Fast forward a few hours in the day. I went to the mid-week prayer meeting, The Summit, at my church and it couldn't have been more a timely service. Powerful. Everything from the worship to my Pastor's message to the time of just lingering in God's presence. The text was from 2 Timothy 1:7 -
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline
- and Pastor Torres broke down how everyone of us is called to something and we need to just do it for the Lord and not fear. The points were (1) when fear comes in, it reduces authority (2) fear takes away your love, and (3) fear hinders you from being self-disciplined. I could write a ton about last night. Bottom line, it was amazing. It was almost as if it was a continuation from my time with the Lord earlier that day. A confirmation from the Lord to keep going. Though I've been a bit frustrated with my writer's block, I felt such peace in His presence and a reminder that He led me to go this route and will give me the word. His words. My prayer is that I will receive clear directives, the way David had such specific instructions with the blueprints of the temple. And though I haven't found myself in the zone yet, I know the words are going to flow in God's time, right on time.

So, all that to say, yesterday was a powerful day in a plethora of ways and after a service like that, I needed to continue to let everything marinate so I did not write. And though I did not share any 'ugly' pieces of writing with anyone, it is on my agenda to do.

Start was an appropriate word after all. A very appropriate word. Because, even with all the ugliness, I can still begin. And I have.

I am a writer.



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