Tuesday, June 5, 2007

You Know You're From New York When ...

I know this isn't new, but it always makes me laugh. Especially because I'm going home in a few weeks. But seriously, I must share cuz this is SO true...

_____________________________


"YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NEW YORK WHEN... "

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

The subway makes sense.

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a "steal."

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston Street like the city in Texas.

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.

I LOVE IT!!!
_____________________________
Anyway ... I have very good news ...

I renewed my lease yesterday. I started off with a six month lease and I've now signed for another year. Originally the landlord did not want me to paint. That was very hard for me considering the fact that my walls are whiter than snow. Well ... when about to sign the lease yesterday ... I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask if I could paint this time around.


HE SAID YES ! ! !


GOODBYE WHITE WALLS!!!





I have to paint them white when I move out but who cares. I'm just so happy that the white walls will be gone. This requires celebration. I'm in need of coffee so I will celebrate that way.
~ J



1 comment:

Josh and Kate plus 1 said...

Yeah! Paint is good! And what is a bedoga anyway?? I'm obviously not from NY. See you soon & maybe one day we'll get to hang out again?? Love yous!